Calling LOCAL TECH Support.

Me: Hello, is this <*bleep*> ISP tech support?

Geeky Agent: Yes sir.

Me: umm, I'm having problems with my connections. Is there another dial-up number you have there that I can use? I already used the other numbers indicated on the card but it seems that theres no transfer of packets occuring when I do connect.

Geeky Agent: (trying to be cool) Sorry sir, we only have those 3 dialup numbers.

ME: Ahh I see. so are the lines congested during this hour?

Geeky Agent: No Sir. Let me just give you our DNS numbers. (ahh you do have DNS numbers, WHY ISN"T IT INDICATED IN THE CARD!)

Me: OK.

Geeky Agent: What Windows version are you using?

Me: Wait. Just give me the DNS numbers, I know how to set it up.

Geeky Agent: OK. the numbers are blah blah blah..

Me: Thanks!(End call)

So I entered the numbers, and voila! Nothing happens.

Riinggg....

Agent : Hello my name is Dennis how may I help you?

Me: Umm OK, I just called a while ago because I'm having problems with my connections. I connect fine but there is no throughput.

Agent (which is by the way gay): throughput?

Me: err "wla syang response" The other Agent gave me DNS numbers but I still can't download data.

Gay Agent: OK sir the problem may be gasp..., is with your Internet Explorer. We may have to reinstall it. (That drastic?)

I let the gay, umm guy walk me through it just for fun.

Me: ummm OK. What do I do?

Gay Agent: First umm, please click My Computer, then Control Panel..blah blah blah...

The agent really isn't sure of what he is doin.

Me: So OK. I have reinstalled it, will this resolve it?

Gay Agent: Yes sir (gasping again..) that will... (CLICK!!!)

Girl Agent: Hello I'm Michelle, how may I help you..

Me: What the ? Huh? I was just talking to your other agent, what happened? Anyways I'll just try what he said. Thanks.

Agent Michelle: Ok Sir. Thank you for calling.

Guess what it didn't work.

Rinngggg...

Agent Michelle (again): Hello, blah blah blah...

I explained my wittyful encounters with the other tech support.

Agent Michelle: OK sir lets try this, please type "netsh ip"' umm "intresetlog.txt", wait thats "net space ip space int resetlog.txt", uum yah thats it.

Me: OK.

Agent Michelle: WAIT SIR! Don't press Enter key yet!!!!, I got it wrong its "netsh int ip reset c:resetlog.txt" (ha ha! I thought she wouldn't correct me, since I knew the syntax was wrong)

Me: So OK. What does this do (playing newbie)

Agent M: ummm, what does this do...ummm (with unsure tone) it resets TCP/IP settings?. Please try connecting again.

ME: OK. (END CALL)

Again nothing happens.



Riingggg....

Gay Agent Dennis again: Hello this is blah blah blah..

Me: Hey, ikaw yung nakausap ko kanina right? Well its still not working.

MENTAL NOTE: There maybe only 3 agents for this Local ISp's TECH Support. Perhaps they are dreading to take my call.

GAY AGENT: (with a "why me again?" tone of voice while gasping) ahh ok sir , the problem really is in your Internet Explorer.

Me: But it happens when I also use Opera.

Gay Agent: ahh Opera, ummm opera opera (again with a "why me?" deep breathing), sir ...ummm (pause and another set of ummmss and ahhhss) Please lets try changing your browser settings to default. (AS IF IT WILL MAKE A DIFFERENCE)

Me: ahhh ok, Ok i know how to do it., I'll just call if it's still not working.

Gay Agent: (relieved) OK sir, thank you for calling.

I obviously did not do it. In the end after a few sets of funny unsuccessful calls, I decided to leave the matter to my own hands and I did a Windows System Restore and everything went perfectly fine.

Well at least I had a taste of a local ISP support, so if your a techie who wants to have a good laugh, i recommend calling one today. :)